Of course I do. But I wouldn’t call my input on this “controlling” because first of all, I never, not in any way, not even indirectly asked Sungmin to do or not do anything. How is failing to understand his decisions controlling?
I’m surprised you’re actually telling me to forgive him, after everything you have said? I’m not going to forgive Sungmin because he has NOTHING to apologise for to begin with. I’m never going to ask him to say sorry. It seems to me I failed to get my message across. I thought I’d made it clear that I was the one who was sorry— for failing to understand, for failing to deal with all of this better. Again, my fault. Can’t help it.
Although I never really thought of it that way, if you’d like to call un-stanning, fine. But for me it was like stopping this whole fangirl thing altogether. I haven’t been on Tumblr a while, and then this happened, and it felt like a wake-up call, a good time to stop. The real world awaits.
I’ve been trying to think of better ways to start this, but I guess there isn’t so let me begin with I’m sorry. This past month has brought nothing but worry, concern… but mostly disappointment. I’m not upset that you’re dating. I’ve known about this for a long time (didn’t your girl kinda made…
the reason you feel hurt and betrayed is because you projected feelings onto a person who does not know you and has ZERO obligation towards you.
if a person wants to date and not tell anyone about THAT IS THEIR CHOICE, if a person wants to project a certain personality and not be exactly their private self in the public eye then THAT IS THEIR CHOICE. the fact that sungmin is an idol should not factor into it.
it’s pretty pathetic that you feel like you ‘don’t know him anymore’ - you never knew him, he owes you nothing.
If watching him carry out his career gives you some entertainment and helps you escape a little then by all means, go ahead, but if I could advise you one thing, it would be to stop expecting an idol to save you, or make you happy, because in the end you will be disappointed and angry and the only person you can blame is yourself.
The only sad thing about this situation is that a person and all of his co-workers feel they have to apologize because he wants to get married to the person he loves because his fans are too delusional to be supportive and instead resort to acting like spoiled children.
I specifically said I NEVER felt betrayed. I also NEVER said I was HURT that he had kept us in the dark.
"If a person wants to project a certain personality and not be their private self in public that that is entirely their choice." TRUE. And I’m sorry for upsetting you, holyshitshinee, for completely growing fond of these idols and for failing to remind myself each time that this might not be who they are in real life. MY FAULT. IT IS pathetic to say I don’t know him anymore, BECAUSE I NEVER KNEW HIM AT ALL (I’m pretty sure I said I realised that?) , which is exactly why I said it FELT LIKE IT. MY FAULT.
I never said he owed me anything. I’m not acting spoiled. I don’t agree with his decisions but I never wanted him to apologise, and never want him to leave SJ ever.
ALL THROUGHOUT MY POST I’D BEEN APOLOGETIC AND THAT STILL SAYS NOTHING ABOUT HOW COMPLETELY SORRY I AM AS A FAN. I’M SORRY IF I DIDN’T GET THE MESSAGE THROUGH.
I WISH YOU WON’T SCHOOL ANY MORE FANS ON HOW TO FEEL ON THIS. EVERYTHING YOU SAID HERE, IS NOTHING WE DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW. BUT I HOPE YOU KNOW WE ALL COPE DIFFERENTLY. APOLOGIES FOR UPSETTING YOU, A MODEL FAN.
I’ve been trying to think of better ways to start this, but I guess there isn’t so let me begin with I’m sorry. This past month has brought nothing but worry, concern… but mostly disappointment. I’m not upset that you’re dating. I’ve known about this for a long time (didn’t your girl kinda made sure of that hehe) and have had little problem accepting it because you deserved to be with someone. But the way all of this came out… I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t understand your decisions, and I’ve stopped trying to. I especially don’t understand why you’d go against even your parents’, your company’s and your members’ supposed “objection” to the untimely marriage. The fact that you had to persuade them tells me something is faulty, but you refused to listen. I am not even surprised. I’ve always known this stubborn side of you existed. But these are people you’ve been with your whole life. People who only have your best interest at heart, no doubt. All for someone you haven’t known a year— but that’s another story altogether. Your pre-nuptial shoot happened in May. How long have you been together at the time? Four months, tops? Who plans on marrying that soon? I remember you saying earlier this year about finding someone and wanting to marry them quickly so that in that way people would think you’re matching. Well, the only thing people can think about it now is how absurd it is, Sungmin.
I’m not mad at you. (Upset, definitely.) Unlike some, I never felt like you betrayed me. Basically, I just… I feel like I don’t know you anymore. (Like you’re this brand new person. A stranger once more..) And you know what the saddest part is? Realizing through all of this that I probably never really did. And a part of me tells me that somehow, you made sure I didn’t. I know this could be my disappointment talking, but I feel so frustrated.. with everything. You have no idea how much I wanted to just be happy for you. I tried. I guess this is what happens when the one person you were sure won’t let you down does. It just kind of blows you away. I hope no one ever doubts the love and support I had for you all these years — it’s a lot of time I will never get back but won’t ever regret. I only ever wished for the best for you, Sungmin, honest. I only wanted the best for you. And I’m sorry if I don’t see that in all of this. Right now I feel nothing but the serious want to knock some sense back into your head, but that would be useless. So if this is what you really want, which we can all see it is, then fine. I don’t know when your happiness stopped being mine, but I’m not gonna pretend that I’m happy, because I’m not. Again, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not a better fan. I’m sorry I’ve stopped trying to be along the way. I’m sorry for everything.
For weeks now I’ve been telling myself to stop thinking about it, but what to do when Lee Sungmin has been all that’s been happening in my life for years? It’s been really tough this past month and I know it’s only going to get tougher still. But let’s face it, we’re old. I’m old. And like you who’s starting a new chapter in his life, so will I. Perhaps this time I’ll be a little selfish and finally pray for my own happiness, now that you’ve found yours.
So good-bye, Sungmin you beautiful person. We had a good run. I will forever be grateful and sorry.
— South of the Border, West of the Sun (via harukimurakami)
Title: First period of the hot season
Using this ah ah ah ah ㅠㅠㅠㅠ To pass pass pass pass~~~
To pass this summer, I have chosen samgyetang~!
I chose a restaurant which cooks samgyetang in the traditional Korean way~!
Although I want to eat eel as well
But I have made a promise to eat it the next time
Have to eat deliciously and healthily~ hahaha
Everyone please pass the summer happily while eating healthy food~~
KR to CH translation: 李晟敏吧4inmin CH to ENG translation: yourblacksmile @ perMINent.net. Please take out with full credits.
punishment: three cute shots
(the MCs requested for him to do something cuter than his gwiyeomi and to be more cringeworthy)
Haemin being cuties >3<